Our Journey

We decided to create a blog so we could share with family and friends about "our journey". Our son Noah is 4 years old and he is the constant light in our world. He was born with a rare genetic disorder called Rubinstein Taybi Syndrome.. Life has not always been easy but Noah has taught us how to be courageous. We are so proud of his accomplishments the past four years. He is beautiful, funny, courageous and strong. We feel so blessed God has chosen us to raise Noah.. We also hope that new parents receiving an RTS diagnosis will find comfort in our words. Nicholas is the perfect addition to our family. God has once again blessed us with a amazing, beautiful little boy. We are so comforted knowing that Noah now has a little brother. Life is beautiful having these two angels in our world.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Update on Sonogram Today

Thank you God. Everything turned out to be great as far as the sonogram and echo goes. Noah and Tom were both with me during the whole thing. The echo took about 30 minutes and they said everything appeared to be normal (no further testing was recommended). Then they did the ultrasound and the tech actually said the baby measured perfectly. The baby is of average size and not too small. This all sounded so unreal as I was laying there. I started bawling after it was all said and done. Partly because of relief but another part of me is still mourning what we went through during our pregnancy with Noah. Sometimes I think I am totally over all grieving feelings and then I realize I still have a ways to go. Being pregnant again has brought back a lot of feelings that I have buried in a far away place. The weird part is that I feel guilt for being so relieved. Does that sound strange? Basically because I don't want to ever compare the two pregnancies . I don't want my birth or pregnancy with Noah to be any less special to anyone. Even though I went through hell I wouldn't change my sweet boy for the world. This pregnancy is not better just different. I love you all for praying for me. Thank you.


Terri H-E said...

Congratulations. I can understand. Though it's not comparison and judgment, there will always be something that pulls you back to the hard parts of being Noah's mom.

Today I got to help Addie share her poster about herself as star of the week at school. Though we had a complete blast and she and I had our standard matching ridiculous grins on the whole time, if/when I see another child do their star of the week poster (even if it were my own), I know I would have to choke some painful feelings back. I know I would.

It's not comparison, it's not deeming anything better than anything else - it's just being reminded of things, feelings.

Though I am still surprised at the things that send me to the depths, I let it wash over, confident I'll come out the other side again. It's always temporary.

Today is a happy day where relief and excitement got to come out. Noah doesn't want you putting any energy into guilt if you can help it, though. He's excited for his little brother/pal!

Joy to you. See you in a few weeks!

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Im so glad things measured just right! RELIEF......and so the count down begins for me.

angie said...

I completely understand. I remember when I was having a sonogram with Owen and we were studying his feet and hands...I was so relieved when the dr. said they looked "normal". I felt so guilty that I did not want Emma's sibling to be like her. Our children are miracles...and they are wonderful, but it would be difficult to have 2. It could be done...but WOW! Your feelings are completely natural.

Tena said...

Oh I remember those ultrasounds with Avery, right on the heels of Caden. It is SO hard. That was my most difficult pregnancy (emotionally), but the reward is great. I'm thinking of you!!!

Jacqui said...

What a journey you are on but I hope that it will a bring you deeper healing. I understand what you are saying about not wanting your experience with Noah to seem less special because it was hard. As you said - it is just a different journey. And Noah is no less or more because of it. We celebrate with you that your little growing one is doing well.

Kelly said...

Glad everthing went well with your appointment!! Kelly F

Toots said...

I think it is so sweet that both Noah and Tommy were with you during the sonogram. You are blessed, and all will be well. Love you.