Our Journey

We decided to create a blog so we could share with family and friends about "our journey". Our son Noah is 4 years old and he is the constant light in our world. He was born with a rare genetic disorder called Rubinstein Taybi Syndrome.. Life has not always been easy but Noah has taught us how to be courageous. We are so proud of his accomplishments the past four years. He is beautiful, funny, courageous and strong. We feel so blessed God has chosen us to raise Noah.. We also hope that new parents receiving an RTS diagnosis will find comfort in our words. Nicholas is the perfect addition to our family. God has once again blessed us with a amazing, beautiful little boy. We are so comforted knowing that Noah now has a little brother. Life is beautiful having these two angels in our world.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Why Am I Finding This So Hard?

I have lost so much sleep I can't even think straight. I'm not sure why I am having such a hard time with Noah going to school. I keep going back and forth on whether or not to send him. I searched for a long time for the right preschool and I finally found one. I don't want to let go. I am so scared I can't even being to express it. I have dreaded Noah turning 3 because I knew that's when most kids around here start preschool. For the last three years I have been able to protect Noah and know that he is safe. It bothers me to the core knowing that he won't be able to tell me if someone is mean to him or if he doesn't like the teacher. I'm so scared to put him in the hands of someone else to care for. I know what Noah wants. I know when he "signs" what he means. It's like in "our world" everything is normal and being different is our way of life. If I'm being honest the thought of walking out of the classroom and leaving Noah terrifies me. I may sound extreme to some but that is how I feel. Terrified.. I don't know what to do about feeling this way. I don't know if he is ready. I hate this.

7 comments:

Our Journey said...

follow your heart! our kids will go to school longer than the typical child.. when you are both ready then start, but not until then. .if its not until hes five then thats fine! six? thats fine too!! and when you do start - do it slow.. maybe 1 or 2 days a week at first.. i wouldnt jump right into a full day program.. all this coming from a mom whose baby will not be starting on his 3rd birthday!!

Cindy said...

But he WILL tell you if someone is mean to him...in his own way. Don't beat yourself up about delaying it. It's your decision to make, based on what you know about Noah and the school you've chosen. But also know that you can try it for a week or a month and if Noah doesn't like it, you can pull him out. Nothing is forever!

Toots said...

I will pray for you and Noah, that you'll dig deep and make the decision that sits right in your heart and soul, whatever that may be. I love you.

angie said...

This is tough stuff....and I know....because I have been there. It is such uncharted territory compared to the parent of a "typical" child. Even if our children were "typical", but it makes it even more tough knowing that they cannot voice what is happening. Cindy is correct...he WILL tell you, but sometimes it's difficult to decipher what he may be trying to say. I agree to follow your heart. It's OK if you are not ready to start him...or if you feel that he is not ready to start. It needs to be a positive beginning for BOTH of you. Hugs to you...and Noah.

Jacqui said...

I can really hear how you have been WRESTLING with this. You really are desparate to do what is best for your boy. I am praying that God will give you wisdom in this, and then peace with your decision. I know you know this, but just to remind you: God loves Noah - in fact He is more committed to Noah's plans and purposes that you could be. He will guide you. HUGS

marilynd65 said...

I agree, Kristi, it's your call! I am very confident that you will make the right decision for Noah. If you decide to send Noah to school, you will be able to tell after a couple of days by Noah's actions if he likes going to this school. Remember how he was able to tell you how much he loved going to Wolfson's therapy. If you decide to keep Noah home that's ok too! You are after all his best teacher. He has plenty of time to start school.

marilynd65 said...

I meant the center downtown. He would smile and get excited and look at the back of the car waiting for you to get the stroller out.