Our Journey

We decided to create a blog so we could share with family and friends about "our journey". Our son Noah is 4 years old and he is the constant light in our world. He was born with a rare genetic disorder called Rubinstein Taybi Syndrome.. Life has not always been easy but Noah has taught us how to be courageous. We are so proud of his accomplishments the past four years. He is beautiful, funny, courageous and strong. We feel so blessed God has chosen us to raise Noah.. We also hope that new parents receiving an RTS diagnosis will find comfort in our words. Nicholas is the perfect addition to our family. God has once again blessed us with a amazing, beautiful little boy. We are so comforted knowing that Noah now has a little brother. Life is beautiful having these two angels in our world.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Thinking Back

My blog is a lot like therapy for me sometimes. A place where I can go and be honest with myself and whoever is interested in reading. Most of the time I don't care how emotional I get or how raw my feelings can be. I am glad that I feel comfortable being "real" on my blog. Tonight I was doing a lot of thinking about how far I've come in the last three years. I looked at a picture of myself around the time after Noah's birth and couldn't see me. I couldn't see the person that I have become today. I thought of a particular day that stands out in my mind when Noah was in the NICU. My mom (who was at the hospital every day with me) was able to convince me to leave the hospital for a walk. I remember sitting on a bench looking out to the river and crying in my mom's arms. I remember exactly what I was thinking about in that moment. I told my mom that one of my fears was how Noah would be treated by others? Would he be made fun of in school? Would he have friends? My mom cried with me. She was in pain watching her daughter in so much pain. I remember that time because those fears seem so insignificant now. Three years later I see this beautiful little boy that will love the world even if sometimes it doesn't love back. I know that the friends he will keep will carry the same beauty inside of them. I'm not naive, I know there will be people that will be cruel, ignorant and hateful but I also know that Noah won't care about those people. So why should I? Even now Noah senses the people that don't have faith in him. He gravitates to people that believe he can do what he puts his mind to. Three years ago I was so scared. Three years later I am brave. Three years later my life is fuller and my heart is warmer. I want to thank my mom for the gift of compassion. Without her that piece of me might not exist.

7 comments:

Cindy said...

Great post, Kristi. I remember looking at a picture of myself "before Natalie" and thinking, "I want to be that person, not the mom of a special needs kid."

Now I see how naive that person was and I'm so happy to be the person I am now instead. There's something about having a special needs kid that makes us grow up fast!

marilynd65 said...

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER AND MY BEAUTIFUL GRANDSON PROUDLY CALLED MR. NOAH! I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF BOTH OF YOU! I AM HAPPY TO BE A PART OF NOAH'S LIFE AND I ALSO WILL STAND UP AND BE THERE FOR NOAH ALWAYS! KRISTI, YOU AND NOAH HAVE BEEN AN INSPIRATION TO ME AND HAVE TAUGHT ME ALSO ABOUT LOVE, COMPASSION, AND STRENGTH. ALL OF US HAVE COME A LONG WAY SINCE THAT TIME. Mom

Toots said...

Such a beautiful post. Tears are falling. You've come so far, and your beautiful soul shines through right along with Noah's. You slaughtered your fears and have walked through to the other side with the richest kind of love possible. You are amazing, and so is Noah! Love you!

angie said...

Thank you for posting your feelings Kristi....our children are what bond us all....but, knowing that there is someone out there who can relate to what you're thinking and going through is a bond all by itself. Our children are amazingly sensitive people who can sense if they should trust a person or not....that is one of the things that I love most about my Emma. She loves everyone, however she has that sense...and she knows when to use caution. Fortunately most people love our children right back. What is there not to love??

I'm glad that you have come so far my friend:). It is quite the journey...and I'm glad to be traveling it too.

Kerri H said...

Thanks for sharing Kristi..I am right now going thru lots of emotions as well as we're about to enter the world of kindergarten for Logan..Logan and I even met his principal and got his picture taken w/him..so nice. All I think of was I just want Logan to be able to be understood and accepted and not shyed away from..the teacher will have their hands full..but I'm started to feel more confident..I will see how it goes tomorrow w/all the kids there..
Hugs..

Tarah said...

Beautiful post, thanks for sharing.

Christine said...

What a great post Kristi! I too viw my blog as my therapy and because of our blogs we are connected with people that truly get it.
I'm glad to you shared your thoughts with us. It reminds me that when I'm having a bad RTS day, I should look back and see just how far we have come.

You are an amazing mom. An amazing friend and part of an amazing RTS Family!

So glad to know you- now if our families can just meet in person!!